That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
