So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
