i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
