You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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