so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
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