please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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