I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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