you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
