By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
