That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
