So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
