I'm jealous of your bromance
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize