So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
