You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
