She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
