Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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