Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
