Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
