So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
