On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
