i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
