Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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