Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
A+ Viking dick
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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