So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
