Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
