she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
