He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
