There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
