Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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