I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Randomize
