I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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