The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
