please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
