She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
