I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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