No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
