Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
