White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
