So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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