So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize