I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Randomize
