Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
