coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
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