Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize