your parents love me but you hate me
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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