3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
