Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
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