just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
