it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
