Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
