so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
