just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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