It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
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