I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
