worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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