the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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