We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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