Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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