i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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