i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
