none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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