i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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