The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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