Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
